I had to go all the way to England to meet a girl who grew up in Oklahoma and Missouri! I can still remember the day in early May of 1999 when I walked off of the plane into the smaller than expected airport in Birmingham, England. It was a damp and dreary day (read typical), but Juli's smiling face was a ray of sunshine for this travel weary jet-lagged 21-year-old. I remember seeing her from a distance and thinking to myself, "Wow, she's good looking!" Extending my hand out for a shake, I introduced myself with all of the James Bond cool I could muster: "Hey, I'm Shay." Juli was not impressed. When I found out later that day that Juli had a boyfriend, let's just say I was disappointed.
For the next four months, Juli and I worked together in Nottingham on a missions team with 8 other American young people. Mid-summer, I learned that Juli had been dumped by her boyfriend who was a part of the same missions program but based in Portugal. I should have been sympathetic, but I couldn't quite hide my delight. My initial intrigue had turned into full-scale infatuation, and I thought that things were beginning to come together for our imminent relationship. Again, Juli was less than impressed with my not-so-subtle swooning, as she said to herself, "I would never date this guy, let alone marry him!" But a boy can dream, can't he?!!
As September came and Juli's departure date neared, I felt I had to transparently express my feelings for her. I could not be content with letting my subtle and not-so-subtle hints substitute for laying my feelings on the line. But I was scared - scared that my feelings for Juli might not be mutual. So, rather than having a conversation with her face to face, on the night before she was scheduled to fly back to the States, I wrote her a letter, requesting her not to read it until she was over the Atlantic. I still remember arriving at her house in the early morning hours, just as she boarded the van scheduled to take her to the airport. I gave her a hug, handed her the letter, and explained my request. I don't remember the exact details of the letter, but I shared my heart and I mentioned that at the very least, I hoped that I was planting a seed that might come to fruition at a later date. Then I waited. I waited. And I continued to wait. In the days when snail mail was still a thing, email a kind of luxury, and trans-Atlantic texting non-existent, I knew it might take some time. But surely, I would hear back from her, I thought. I thought wrong! There was never a letter or an email acknowledging that she had read the letter. I never even received a polite response with a, "Thank you, but no thank you." Crickets.
When it comes to relationships, I'm no Dr. Phil, but even I realized that when October and November came and went, her response was a hard "no" without the "thank you."
But a boy can dream, can't he?!! For whatever reason, I didn't give up, even if I moved on for the time being.
Fast-forward to the Fall of 2000. As I sat in my apartment adjacent to the University of Texas at Austin, I contemplated my future. I had been a Broadcast Journalism major in the College of Communications at UT, but I had decided to change my major to Education. Should I switch to the College of Education at UT, or should I transfer back to Lubbock Christian University? There were solid arguments for either decision, but Juli was living in Lubbock, not Austin. I can't say that Juli was the deciding factor (I had only seen her once since getting back to the States and there was no indication that her feelings for me were any different than before), but her presence in Buddy Holly's backyard definitely played a part.
As I bookended my college career in Lubbock, I had the time to re-launch mission improbable. Slowly, but surely through church events, social gatherings, game nights, and a decisive trip with friends to the Sangre de Cristo Mountains in New Mexico, I was able to water and fertilize the seeds previously planted. Over the Summer of 2001, I was a camp counselor at Blue Haven, while Juli lived with her sister in the Dallas area. I sent her several pieces of snail mail, and this time she returned the favor. By the Fall, we were a "couple" and despite a couple of break-ups along the way, we said "I do" on August 17, 2002. We celebrate 21 years of marriage today!
Juli would be the first person to tell you that me marrying her was extremely unlikely in the beginning. But a boy can dream, can't he?!! I persevered in my pursuit of my dream girl and that has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. Like all relationships, this one hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything! I pray that God will give us many, many more decades together, but no matter how much time we have, I don't want to live this life with anyone but Juli. My wife is a gift from God! And the God who keeps on giving saw fit to give us Ashlyn, 7 years later. So, on this my anniversary, I am filled with nothing less than gratitude. - Shay
